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I spent the whole night talking with an old friend. He had been a minister, got married, struggled with homosexuality all throughout, decided to pursue the gay life, found a boyfriend, ended that relationship, got into a complicated relationship and has now decided to seek fulfilment in God. At the end of a very long day the conclusion was – it is not about sex, not just about sex, but about “having a meaningful relationship”.

What makes a relationship meaningful? i read somewhere that:

  • Both work at being partners, share the same vision and agree on how to achieve it.
  • They are transparent with each other; they talk and share about what they like, do not like, are afraid of, irritated by, willing to compromise on, are not willing to give up.
  • They respect each other. They recognize one another’s strength and weaknesses.
  • They support one another. They are there for one another.
  • They cover one another. Partners do not expose the other’s vulnerability.
  • They expect great things from one another. They propel each other to greater heights.
  • They enjoy each other.
  • They celebrate their successes.
  • They sorrow together. When one falls, the other helps that one to get up.
  • They run together.
  • They finish their race.

Life is about relationships. A meaningful relationship is not about the benefits one gets from sticking it out with each other. It is about being together because each one allows the other to be the best version of him or herself. And should there be other pleasures, like sex, it is better enjoyed because both partners have learned a common vocabulary, a common meaning, found in their relationship. They have discovered who they are and why they are here – together. They have discovered the image of God in one another.